Sunday, January 16, 2011


People ask, "What's the matter with you?" And I say, "Nothing". Nothing slowly clotting my arteries. Nothing slowly numbing my soul. Caught by nothing, saying nothing, nothingness becomes me. When I am nothing, they will say, surprised, in the way they are forever surprised, "But there was nothing the matter with her."
     Sometimes I can't even make myself get out of bed. I just don't want to see anyone. I'd much rather be alone. But at the same time, being alone is what makes me feel this way. I want somebody to show me that I am worth saving. I need somebody to show me that I am not going to be alone forever.
     ...But maybe I will be alone forever and need to just accept it and stop waiting, wishing for, and wondering about someone who is never going to come.
     Lately, I've been thinking about Disney princesses and how awesome and brave they are. They have to be strong and brave because their princes aren't, with the exception of Aladdin. These princesses have to risk their lives for these stupid boys who are clueless! And I bet they don't live happily ever after more than half the time. Is love really worth it?
     However, I must remember that I am never alone. Everyone wants to live a fairytale. Everyone wants a perfect lie, but what makes up a fairytale? Is it truly the pain and the strife? What would a fairytale be without a damsel in distress? She would never meet prince charming, would never dance in her dress. You see you can't have a story with just a beginning and an end. You have to be broken to be able to mend. Without the dark, there'd be no light. Without the wrong, there'd be no right. Every story can have a perfect ending. You just have to wait and work for it. 

No comments:

Post a Comment