Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

 My dad and I in 2008 at my high school graduation. My hair was soooo blonde!

 Happy 50th birthday to my dad, Ron Chriswell, today!
 I love you dad and hope you had the best birthday!

 My dad is an INCREDIBLE painter. He paints with watercolors. This is a painting of his parents (my grandparents).

 A painting of me when I was a little girl.

 An unfinished work by my dad. I wish he would start painting again!

 A painting of my grandfather.

 Another work by my dad.

 A painting and poem of my mom and me when I was a baby.

 I wish I had a better camera or could show you these paintings in person. The detail is breathtaking and these basic pictures of my father's paintings don't do them full justice. He really is an amazing artist.

I just had to show off my dad's paintings. I love them. He has done paintings for offices and exhibits. He stopped painting many years back, but I wish he would keep painting because he has a gift! He's also a fantastic writer. I love him and am thankful for everything he does for me. I can't believe he's 50... haha I feel old... j/k! Happy birthday dad. 

So today's post is going to be a little random and a mixture of everything (if you couldn't already tell)! 
Imma start off with a topic discussed frequently (too frequently). You guessed it: boys. I am so done posting anything to do with them/love for a while after this, I promise! I'm just fired up tonight and confused. I don't think I'll ever get boys. So recently I started talking with a boy and we hung out once. He was just like all of the rest, if not worse. And I'm not going to even talk about it. He reads my blog apparently and texted me that he didn't want to be just another story on here. Well he isn't a story worth telling so his wish has come true. I'm not going to waste my time on wasted time. He just reaffirmed that guys are all the same. I hope he reads this, quite honestly. 
I e-mailed one of my good friends who is on a mission. We stay in touch every week. He comes back soon. We're just friends and it's all we ever have or will be. I tell him everything basically. So I discussed my frustration with guys and the boy in the previous paragraph. Well my friend wrote back and his answer made me mad! I'm so upset with what he said that I'm considering not writing him back. Seriously! He said that I should get used to it. He said to put it bluntly (his words) that all guys are like that. They are rude, shallow, and only care about appearance and looks. They are selfish and that's all they ever have been or will be. SERIOUSLY?! I sure hope that isn't true. Boys just confuse me to the point of not even knowing how to express my thoughts and confusion in words. Am I the only one who thinks what my friend told me is thoughtless?

I love love love those pictures! Just saying...

Well I am sick and not feeling great so this is going to be short. I am just going to end by expressing my love and appreciation for my dear roommates and friends Rian and Hannah. These girls listen to me and get me. We get each other and literally get each other through hard times and frustrating guys. I love them and our tea chats, Jersey Thursdays, and late night Grey's-a-thons. And I love my sisters McHale and Jordan. McHale is also my roommate. Jordan practically is. She's in high school but stays here a lot.
 Rian, me, Hannah, and McHale


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

How to change the weather [make it better] & turn a nightmare into a dream, among other things

Life. It sometimes seems like your world is crashing down around you. Change comes unpredictably. It's something we all have this desire to control, but it's a force of its own. It's unstoppable and uncontrollable. Sometimes change is voluntary, sometimes it's slow and steady and easy, like a nice walk on a beach. Then there are times when change is like a huge storm, hitting you out of nowhere and making you feel like you're drowning and can't catch your breath. It's like a roller coaster you're stuck on and all you want to do is get off. It can turn your life upside down, make people you love and are close to complete strangers, and leave you standing in the wreckage not knowing where to begin on the road to recovery and finding normalcy. 
When I was a kid, life was wonderful, as it is for most, because you're so innocent and anything is possible in the land of make believe. Yet I, and all those around me, were so desperate to grow up. We figured life would just get better and better the older we got. We had so many dreams, like how I wanted to become a princess. And the faster we grew up, the sooner the dreams would become reality. But then reality hit us. Reality is generally cold, lonely, and unfriendly. People crushed our dreams. Society told us our dreams were impossible. And the reality of growing up sometimes was miles, even light years away from our expectations. I learned you can't just want to be a princess. You can't just say you're a princess because life isn't a fairy tale. There's no princessing college. You can't just wish for Prince Charming to show up right away. You have to wait. Because maybe Prince Charming is dealing with his own share of dragons, and he's becoming who he's supposed to be, and the time isn't right. Sometimes you have to wait a long time, and kiss a few frogs, and save yourself, you have to be brave on your own before he comes along. Such is life. 
There is much you can't control, but you can still make the best of life and fight for your dreams. See, you have to fight for everything in this life. Sometimes living is a battle, just day to day. Now all I want is for time to slow down, because it seems like everything is going so fast and I can't keep up or barely breathe. I believe we control our fate. You have to make choices and in the end your choices will make you. 
As the Beatles once said you have to, "Take a sad song and make it better." How do you do this? How do you find hope when it seems hopeless? How do you be happy when everything is so sad? I've learned to take each week and look at the good. Lately, the bad outweighs the good (in my life) and it can be overwhelming, crushing in a sense. But you can't let it bring you down, you have to rise above. Make a mental list or write down all the good things to counteract the bad. 
Good things in my life this week
*Narrowly avoiding a parking ticket because I had to park without my parking pass when I needed it (I'd left it in my mom's car I was driving the week before)
*Spending time with my family
*Planning a fancy tea party with Rian and Hannah (it's on Ri's bucket list & my list of 100 things to do before I die, speaking of which I highly highly highly recommend checking out my blog post "Project Wish". It's my list, and it helps me keep hope. It has dreams and goals that I can constantly work towards. I think everyone should make one!)
*Looking forward to the Grey's Anatomy musical episode!
*Driving in my car blasting my favorite music, singing along not caring if people think I'm crazy.
*Finding the beauty in the breakdown.
*Reconnecting with old friends via Facebook
*Making new friends
*Having all my roommates back in my apartment.
*Watching Titanic for probably the 145th time (I totally should keep a tally for every time I watch it).
*Updating this blog.
*One of my teachers pushing a test back two weeks!
*Wearing new clothes I got shopping last weekend.

Sometimes life is unbelievably challenging. It can feel like a living hell, but you can make it heaven. You can make it better. You always have to remember it can change on a dime in your favor. Living can be hard. It feels like it is lately for me, but you have to remember the times when it was easy and love each moment. You have to make great choices today so your future will be remarkable. Some weeks, my list of wonderful things looks like this:
*I am breathing and alive.
*My family members are all alive and healthy.
*I have amazing friends (the best actually).
*I have shelter, food, clothing, and basically everything I need and want.
*I am going to school, bettering myself and working towards becoming a doctor to save others lives.
*I have the ability to dream.
*My Lucy cat.

And there are more, obviously, but even a list as basic as that is lovely. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. It never has been and it never will be. It's a lesson a lot of us don't want to face, but you have to face it. Life may not be what you want it to be today, but that's not to say tomorrow or in a few months or years it won't be what you wanted it to be, if not even better. You have to find and maintain a balance of holding on and letting go. You have to find time everyday to do the things you love to keep you happy (like taking a bubble bath, watching Grey's, writing, hiking, nature walks, reading scriptures, prayer, tea time with Rian and Hannah, e-mails with Brie, and more--that's my list, everyone's is different). Inspire others, it is a circle, it will come back and inspire you. Make your life count because no one will make it that way for you. Remember how many trials and hard times you've gone through and look at how much stronger you are because of them. You can get through this and whatever else life has to throw at you. Life is beautiful.