Sunday, October 2, 2011

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Can I just begin by repeating myself in stating that you, yes you reading these words right now, are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
My love for my nation is incomprehensible yet undeniable. 
You have been here inspiring me. 
When I started this blog, I was in need of inspiration myself quite honestly... 
I knew that the best way to be happy was to give of yourself to others, to make others happy. Giving and not receiving is what makes for a fulfilling life. Unfortunately, the world is running on a concept of "it's all about me" and greed and take, take, take, which is why there is so much chaos and destruction. Hate and indifference are taking the place of unconditional love all around us. It's like an infection. Don't catch it. Spread love. Love is the answer to the questions in life... and I am not just talking romantic love (I know that is wonderful too, or so I am told--in the words of The Band Perry "Never known the loving of a man but it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand." I will find that kind of love when the time is right) I mean love towards your family, friends, neighbors, and strangers. 
I am no William Shakespeare, no Ally Condie, no J.K. Rowling, or C.S. Lewis by far but I feel writing is my talent in life. I really do. There are few things I am more passionate about. Anyways, I thought if I started this nation run on inspiration, and I could touch just one life with words it would be worth it. I thought just my close family and friends would read it. It's been almost a year since the Inspiration Nation was founded and I am astonished and wonderstruck by all of you. I have readers from all over the world, hundreds of thousands and that is touching. It inspires me. Thank you from not just the bottom of my heart, but all of it. I think about you all every single day.
Sadly there was no inspiration in September.
But I have my reasoning.
A) My laptop broke :( And writing a blog post from my phone is challenging. Until my laptop is fixed (or I get a new one) I will be going to Brie's house weekly to ensure I will be sharing my inspiration and posting!
B)I was more broken than my laptop this month. It's been the most challenging month of my life. At times I felt so broken I hadn't the slightest idea where to begin in picking up the pieces of me. The wreckage that was me seemed impossible to repair. I still had faith though and a few people who love me so much it's enough to make up for the billions who don't care about me or my existence. To those lovely people--my grandparents, my aunt Michelle, Brie and Tyson, my little brother Christian, and Charley--thank you for being there for me when everyone else abandoned me. When others didn't care you stepped up and saved me. I am always here for you like you are for me. I am blessed with the best best friends ever. 
The roommates and I aren't getting along so well... more on that in my next post. Then there is family stuff I will also discuss later. Right now though I am just filling you in on the big picture and making sure you know I am still here and always will be. 
Sad news=The Lucy cat is gone.
She went missing at the beginning of September and it broke my heart.
Even worse, my stepfather and mom have been lying to me about it. 
First they said they gave her away! Which upset me to no end... who goes and gives a person's cat away without permission? It's so wrong to me. I loved Lucy. She was living with my parents on their land and farm because she liked being outdoors. I didn't want her cramped up in my apartment. They promised she would be taken care of and that was a lie. My stepdad hated her and treated her so poorly. How dare people treat helpless animals like that?! That is sick and wrong to me. Anyways, I insisted they tell me who they gave her to because I wanted her back. They skirted around the issue and refused to say. 
I confronted them again about it this week and was told she wasn't given away, she actually was killed. They wouldn't say how, but I have my suspicions that he did it. Now I am being told she still was given away... I don't know what to believe and it is a roller coaster ride of emotions.
I have cried so many tears over this. I hope she's okay wherever she is. I know I will see her again if she's in heaven. It's a better place for her. If she isn't, I am determined to find her. Lucy was my beloved pet. She was instant sunshine that brightened my life. I could have the worst day ever and come home and be instantly happy with a smile when I saw her. She would've/will be three in November. I Love Lucy. The Lucy cat was the best. I am getting another kitten who is adorable named Sophie from Michelle. She is still too young to leave her mom. I think that will help with the loss of Lucy. She couldn't ever replace her, but I know it will help. 
I had to share that with everyone of you because I constantly have talked about the Lucy cat. I wanted you to know. 
In other news, I turn 22 on October 14th and my little brother turns 15 on the same day! Time doesn't just fly... it teleports instantaneously it feels like. 
I hope October is the best for all of you! It's my favorite month of all time.
With Love,
Charley Brooke

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