Thursday, December 7, 2017

It's Not Going To Be Easy. It's Going To Be Really Hard. Because I Want You...

Don't give up on love because you still haven't met me yet.

Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I've ever been.

 I'm in love with Ryan Gosling. Watching The Notebook. Does love like that really exist?

"The lights are waiting
with the music in the streets.
The love is coming."
-Tyler Knott Gregson

"Everybody's dying to be somebody else, but I'll live my life if it kills me."
-e.e. cummings

Everything's a risk. Not doing anything is a risk. It's up to you.

SPOILER ALERT: Love is worth everything. Everything.

Never accept less than you deserve. Hold out for someone who treats you like gold, believes in you on good days and bad days, and who is your best friend.

Your heart knows things your mind can't explain.

Have you ever noticed how different people treat their hearts?
There are those who drag their hearts behind them in the dirt, those who only let their hearts out on special occasions and of course, those who force themselves into believing that they have no heart at all.
But I will always have an affinity with the people who toss their hearts into the mess of someone else's DNA. They tell me I am a romantic, but it's only because I believe in love. And the realization that the lines and edges of our bodies or the sudden stop of our hearts, are not where we end--in love, we are e n d l e s s.
A year ago today 12/7/11; I wrote this about love... six years ago
"I'm 22 and love is all I want. My heart is bursting at the seams. Why do I want love, to fall in love and be in love forever? I wish more than anything that someone would just rip my stupid hopeless, hopeless romantic heart out and replace it with one that just didn't care about love, didn't feel missing without it, didn't drive me insane. Why do I want the one thing I can't have? No matter how hard I try I can't get over it or accept it's not ever going to happen, at least not for me, and is a mere dream. They say all you need is love. I'm hard wired for it and it will be my downfall."

Lets come back to reality; 12/7/17
"I know what it's like to miss someone. I know what it's like to miss the past, to wish you could go back in time. But you need to realize that you can't. You can't miss it anymore, because you can't go back. You can only go forward. You need to stop building the memories up in your head, and see them for what they really were. A few great days surrounded by a lot of terrible, abusive, heartbreaking ones. And you need to realize that you deserve someone who makes everyday great, loves you unconditionally, and would NEVER harm you in any way. As a single woman (or man), you can only wonder about the man (or woman) you will someday marry. But God knows exactly who he (or she) is. He designed everything about them from their hair color to the smallest quirks of their character. God knows exactly what challenges you will face in your life together, every romantic moment you'll enjoy together and every fight you'll struggle through. Just think how amazing our dreams would be if instead of making them up for ourselves, we asked God to give us a glimpse of His dreams for us. Those dreams have all the benefit of being true and all the certainty of being fulfilled.
I understand why we get stuck sometimes. TRUST ME. Hearts are stubborn. They sink their hooks into bad habits that look like people and dreams. But look at how much we give of ourselves. Our most precious gifts handed over to another who may, or may not, value them as much as we do. Have you ever heard someone fall asleep? Or watched someone break down? There's so few people in this world that can completely forgive you. The people that get you to believe it's actually all worth it, and don't flinch when you look them in the eyes, never waver, and make a bed more comfortable. Who tell you you're the most beautiful human in existence and you know with every fiber of your being they mean it. So when you find them, you, in a way, lose yourself. But know this: you will always be too much for anyone not enough. Somewhere out there is someone who'll bring pieces of you home. And you'll realize that losing everything is the only way to figure out what's worth finding.
Until then, love yourself! Relentless... imperfections and all. Because you're perfectly you. You are worth it and worthy. You deserve love. And it starts from within. Love your life. Today. This moment. Now. You're whole right now. 
They expect you to quit by now, but you haven't. I haven't. We won't quit either. We have won too many trials to fall now. Many of our experience resemble war, but our responses resemble God's favor. Whenever you start to feel weak, remember what you have surpassed, and it will essentially empower you all over again. That's the blessing in battles: you can let them overcome you or you can make them strengthen you.
Wait for the one who betters you. Somebody you inspires you and encourages you in love and in life, who pushes you towards your dreams and goals you'd otherwise ignore, who selflessly sacrifices their time to help you become a more courageous well rounded and happy human being. That's sacred. That's love."

 I appreciate the things that are molding me into a better woman. Even if it hurts me or I don't understand it. I need it for who I'm becoming.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.

I have put up my walls and I have turned off the lights. I am hiding. I crave for you to find me amongst the darkness; if you can do that then you have found the real me.

... that's the most beautiful thing in the world when two people become fluent in choosing one another.

Lets spend the years together, finding things to love and eating good food. Lets get married and dance to our favorite songs, maybe you will laugh at how badly I dance yet you will love the willingness I have to learn. Lets get groceries, ride bikes and just enjoy the simple things in life. Lets be spontaneous and put all our belongings in the car and drive to the coast. Lets be surprised by the joy of children and live to raise them right. Lets live each day, falling in love all over again. Lets be together in our old age, laughing at the frustration of our youth. Lets kiss each other good night so that we do not forget the power of a kiss.

"You are the poem I never knew how to write and this life is the story I have always wanted to tell."
-Tyler Knott Gregson

There will be dozens of people who will take your breath away but the one who reminds you to breathe is the one you should keep.

 "If they don't like you for being yourself, be yourself even more."
-Taylor Swift

You alone are the greatest story ever told.

Love always, lovelies.

P.S. MAJOR shout out to some of the most beautiful women I've had the honor of meeting who made today's photoshoot possible and magical and lovely.
First, my make up artist Vanessa... Find her on Instagram: @glamfab_nessa
The extraordinary, breathtakingly stunning, angel Keitra Jane. She looks like Taylor Swift's identical twin but prettier... and that's saying something! She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside and working with her this evening was pure magic.
Find Keitra's photography business on Instagram: @xoxokeitrajane

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